About Recovery, Travel, and the Significance of Vending Machines
Hello dear readers!
Thanks so much for the feedback and warming words on my previous post; I’m glad some of you were able to see the humor in it. I did too, it just took a while, haha.
Film school isn’t exactly known to be a health-promoting institution, and it’s no secret that very few of us grad students have the time, nor money, to eat well and exercise as regularly as we’d like. The excessive stress is also a faithful companion to some.
As a former athlete and fitness freak, this was a bit of a shock … and actually one of the hardest things I’ve had to adjust to since I moved to New York. It sound silly, but the fact that these are actual quotes heard in the halls at NYU Tisch, kind of says it all:
Person 1: “I’m so stressed I can’t eat.”
Person 2: “That sounds nice. I’m so stressed I can’t stop eating.”
Person 1: “I can’t afford dinner today.”
Person 2: “Me neither. I just eat Ramen.”
“The only food I’ve had today has been from the vending machine on the 10th floor.”
Same person a week later: “My hair is starting to fall out … I think it’s because of the vending machine.”
Another person: “The vending machine is giving me acne.”
“There was no Nutella Sticks left in the vending machine. It made me more upset than it should have — I almost cried.”
“I need to cry, but I don’t know if I have time … When is our next class?”
“I feel like I have a sword sticking out of my chest. Is that normal?”
“I’ve had this eye-twitch for weeks. I’m thinking about adding it to my resume as ‘special skill.'”
“Do you think the students who smoke are less stressed? I’m considering starting.”
Person 1: “Can you see my heart beating?”
Person 2: No, why? Are you worried you might be dead?”
Person 1: No, it’s just beating so hard and fast I feel like you can see it through my shirt.”
With these quotes in mind, it should come as no surprise that I, too, looked and felt like a haggard mammal after the school-year ended. All the stress and burdens from the semester (that you can read more about HERE and HERE) had left some marks here and there, and I felt like a zombie. When I then caught a nasty virus shortly after my arrival in Norway, things only got worse and I was in bed for over a week, feeling worse than that zombie I mentioned above.
So, when my sister — spontaneously — invited me on a trip to Sardinia in Italy, it felt like bread for the starving.
A week spent on a beach in the Mediterranean turned out to be exactly what I needed.
P.S: The Norwegian college system is designed in a way that allows students to work almost full-time on top of their studies — which in this case made my sister able to sponsor me on this trip. She knows I’m a poor artist in NYC, so this just shows what a lovely sister I’ve been blessed with. Thank you, Celena.
But after a couple days of so-called “tanning,” I needed to do something and I discovered that paddleboarding can be more fun than it looks.
Especially when you do it the wrong way.
After a week of eating and sleeping more than my lifestyle of the past year has allowed, I returned to Norway a little less exhausted. In fact, I felt more rested than I’ve been in over a year … maybe two.
I’m not sure if it had more to do with the Italian sun, or the news I received while I was there, but I’ll tell you more about that in my next post.
Have a blessed afternoon,
“If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere”
Thank you for all the views and comments on my previous post — I truly appreciate y’all taking the time to follow my journey, even when the update-consistency isn’t top-notch.
As you know, I had an incident that almost turned me into a real New Yorker, but I never told you exactly what happened, so here you go:
Still high on the feedback and relief of having completed our films, my classmates and I attended the annual “end-of the year-party” with the program and faculty. And when the evening turned into the wee hours of morning and people went to the respective homes, I went to the Bowery House Hostel — my home for the next few days. (Because, you know, I lost my new apartment and was technically homeless. Read more HERE).
Once I had walked through a camping area for other homeless people, waited for almost half an hour outside the door before anyone let me in, I hauled my suitcases up four flights of stairs, took a long shower and looked forward to the first quiet night/morning in a while.
This (over-priced) hostel was — as expected — anything but spacious, and the walls separating the rooms looked more like bathroom stalls. The ceiling was basically just a grid that let no sounds go by unnoticed. I could almost hear which brand of potato chips my neighbor was eating, and there was at least two different octaves of snoring and breathing streaming out of the stalls. Some of the other sounds I’d rather not describe in too much detail, but you can probably think of something juicy on your own.
But, I decided not to care — something I’ve become increasingly good at whilst living in New York. I was just happy to have somewhere to stay after the whole apartment situation, and I laid down on the bed feeling accomplished by how adaptable I’d become.
That was, until my reading got interrupted by a brown spot in my peripheral vision.
The spot started moving further up my shirt collar — still too close for me to see what it actually was — so I grabbed it. Held it. And examined it. Yup, it was one of those little creatures I frequently googled when I first moved to New York — a bedbug. A very large bedbug. I could see all its defining features, and I was not about to let is suck my blood and infest my luggage.
They were everywhere. Here’s one I found on the wall when I grabbed my things.
So, in a pure Erin Brockowich-moment, I marched into the crowded lobby, still in my mini-shorts pyjamas, slammed the bug onto the reception desk and calmly commanded I’d get my money back and all my luggage cleaned. The reception guy, clearly freaked out, squished the bug in panic and ran to get plastic bags for me to put my clothes in. The money refund, however, wasn’t so easy.
My secret tool in situations like these is usually “sweet-innocent-immigrant-girl-with-broken-English-who-is-far-away-from-home-and-very-very-scared,” but when that doesn’t work … oh man, can I be a bitch.
I did get my money back. It just took a bit of an effort and an attitude on my part.
I didn’t even know I had the ability to be that cold and demanding at the same time, but it worked. And gosh, it was quite satisfying.
Pyjamas are clothes too
The only clothes that hadn’t been exposed to the bugs was another pajamas, still one of those mini-shorts ones, so I got changed, grabbed my laptop, harddrive, a water bottle and left this bug-infested hole they call the Bowery House.
The essentials: Harddrive (because filmschool), laptop, wallet, toothbrush, facial cleanser and a water bottle. Photo: Kai Torres.
The attention I got walking the Manhattan streets at 2 PM in this outfit was slightly different from the attention I usually get at that hour, but I called my dear friend, Kai — who already had guests at her place — but she handled the whole situation gracefully. I ended up sleeping my best night in weeks — on an air-matress on her livingroom floor.
Here’s proof, haha. That lady always knows how to capture the moments. She named this “The Cocoon.”
I got all my clothes taken care of, and I inspected every millimeter of my suitcases before I flew back to Norway. It would be a shame if I re-introduced these creatures that haven’t been a problem in Norway since the early 1900s.
Courtesy to postworld.org.
Even if this felt like an unnecessary experience — especially since I already was exhausted from weeks of around-the-clock working — I chose to see it as a rite of passage. I’m definitely one step closer to being a New Yorker now, haha.
I still don’t have anywhere to live on Manhattan, but I choose to hang onto what Frank Sinatra would’ve said:
But more importantly, what God says:
Now let’s see what He has in store.
I’m currently in Italy, relaxing and recharging, so all the stress from the semester feels a little more distant right now. Will tell you more later.
Have a blessed evening,
Jewelry by Skjaeraasen.no. Photo by Rannveig Froestad.
In my last post I promised to tell you all about my new film, the premiere and the lives we lead at NYU Tisch Grad Film.
Over the past few months most of the content on my blog has revolved around my film “Sisters” — the film that was a beast to shoot because of all kinds of challenges, and a beast to finish because I lost my apartment and traveled to South Dakota to guest speak in the middle of the post-production.
However, all long nights and endless days aside, I crossed the finish line just in time. But before we get to that, let me tell you about the glamour of film school.
Screenshot from “Sisters”: Cinematography by Kai Torres.
I used to take pride in never pulling all-nighters in college. In fact, a good chunk of my honor was anchored in my ability to finish my homework before 7 PM most nights and to keep Saturdays completely off. I was that girl who always showed up to class wide awake and rested after eight hours of sleep and a six-mile run before breakfast.
That, however, has not been the case this semester. Or this past year, for that matter.
Inside the NYU Grad film classrooms you’ll frequently hear professors, students and alumni compare the program to Medical school, the Army and training for the Olympics. If you’ve read the blog for a while, you know that I’m not exaggerating — it’s not uncommon for us to spend 14-16 hours at school every day. We don’t get weekends, spring break or fall break, but in turn we get to do what we love all day, every day. I think it’s a good deal.
Screenshot from “Sisters”: Cinematography by Kai Torres. Starring the talented Willow Eve (left) and Lily Brooks O’Briant (right).
Those past couple weeks before our short films (aka Spring Narratives) were due, I was in the editing lab until 6 AM night after night. You’d think that’s the behavior of eccentric lone wolves, but the strangest part is that I was surrounded by my classmates the whole time.
Some left the lab in tears, but came back determined to stick it through only a few moments later. Others left with stomachs growling so loudly it could be heard through people’s headphones (me), and returned with some low-quality food from a vending-machine to keep them going (also me).
We were all in this together.
In the editing lab: Baseball caps are great when you don’t have time to take care of your hair… Photo: Kai Torres.
The thrill of seeing what began as an idea in your head come to life, mixed with the nauseating feeling of discovering that you missed an essential shot, and that your whole film will likely suck because of your complete incompetence is just one part of the editing experience. When hours of frantic editing, mixing, tricking and cheating pays off in the form of something that at least resembles what you had in mind, you’re no longer questioning your decision to become a filmmaker, and you start to get excited about the premiere that happens to be three weeks earlier than you’d like. You may have a somewhat coherent film to show on the screen that day, after all. It may even be decently good, who knows?
Then you pack your things and call it a day … or night, depending on which timezone you’ve chosen to identify with. You walk through the relatively empty streets of Manhattan and realize you haven’t had dinner yet. It’s 6:15 AM, and it’s too early for breakfast, and quite frankly, you don’t have enough money for dinner anyway, so breakfast it is.
The next morning you go back, exchange a few encouraging words with your classmates, plug in your hard-drive and do it all over again; until the premiere is so close you can feel it in your veins.
Screenshot from “Sisters”: Cinematography by Kai Torres.
The day is there and together with a full auditorium, you get to see what all your classmates have worked on since January. Their powerful voices expressed through stunning visuals on the screen, the pulsating reactions from the audience, and the nerve-wracking, yet exhilarating feeling of suddenly seeing your own film on that same screen. Up there, with all these talented humans you’re lucky enough to call your friends.
It was a success.
Screenshot from “Sisters”: Cinematography by Kai Torres. With the star, Lily Brooks O’Briant.
Even if I’m not 100% happy with my film, I’m a 100% happy with what I learned and the relations I gained during the process. My two movie stars, Lily Brooks and Willow did an amazing job, and I could not be happier with their work. Watch out for their names; they both have very bright futures ahead of them.
I’m still deciding on what will happen with this film next. I might want to apply to a few festivals, but we’ll see what my budget permits.
Screenshot from “Sisters”: Cinematography by Kai Torres.
I was going to tell you about the experience that almost turned me into a real New Yorker; it’s honestly so ridiculous that I wasn’t even sure I wanted to tell you, but I like to keep promises, so stay tuned for my next post. Like I said, you don’t want to miss it.
I used to be rather unforgiving when my favorite bloggers went MIA for more than a week — it would be pretentious to assume that my blog is anyone’s favorite, I know — but instead of apologizing for my five-week absence I’ll welcome y’all back — Welcome back! 🙂
After my last post, one could think I got so comfortable on the prairie that I simply chose to stay, but before I tell you about that glorious piece of adventure, let me create some context for you.
You all know that I struggled hardcore with my housing situation earlier this spring. So, long story short: After days with phone calls across the country and meetings with brokers, my roommate and I lost our new apartment (deposit included). So, the day before I flew to Sioux Falls I didn’t know if I’d have a place to live when I returned. The irony of the situation was that the film that got me into NYU in the first place was about homelessness . . . Add this on top of the fact that I’d be out of town for four out of the 14 already-too-few days I had to edit my film, and you have a world-class stressload.
You can only imagine the relief of boarding the plane knowing that I could just fly away from all my troubles for a little while.
As a result, the whole trip to Sioux Falls became a safe haven where I didn’t have to worry about a thing. My dear Alma Mater, Augustana University (arranged by Dr. Mike Nitz) had taken care of everything; the flights, the schedule and most importantly — the HOUSING. I had a whole apartment for myself — a rare luxury for a poor student in NYC.
I did four guest speaking events on campus, and the audiences ranged from freshmen to a large group where the median age was closer to 80.
In between these more serious commitments,
I looked like I was devouring a microphone, I had several other meetings lined up about a film I may shoot in Dakota next year. I also had some time to catch up with my dear friends who still live in the area.
Like these two amazing humans, Dr. Jeffrey Miller & Dr. Janet Blank-Libra (who besides being legendary journalism professors, also put in their fair share of effort into making film school become a reality for me).
And dear Ana who throughout my years at Augie always made sure I ate well in the cafeteria, and who taught me some new Spanish words every morning
And these folks here, who mostly distracted me from my homework. Or maybe it was the other way around … Anyway, you know I love you.
And my lovely Brittany! (Who gave me the best reason to come back next year — she’s getting married to her prince, Michael!)
And shortly after, my fellow Norwegian Augie-Viking announced that she’s getting married next year as well! I’m counting days!!
All in all I could not have asked for a better weekend at my old stomping ground. It was kinda strange being back, walking around campus like I used to, but this time without the burden of final exams. It was also weird being there without my full house of friends, but in turn, it was truly heartwarming to run into former floor-mates, professors, staff and other acquaintances. Too bad I didn’t have time to catch up with everybody. (Thinking of ya #StagecraftFam).
I left the Midwest feeling rested and recharged for the last stretch of the semester, and God knew I’d need it.
Back in NYC
Thankfully I got permission to stay in my apartment for one extra week, but my roommate Alejandro had to move out the day I returned. And as the relatively naïve person I am, I offered to drive the moving truck: a 17-foot beast all across Manhattan to Brooklyn.
As if narrow streets, heavy traffic and raging drivers didn’t exist.
Due to the lack of parking space outside our building, I had the rather immature idea of entering via a sidewalk … which happened to be a liiiittle more narrow than we thought. At one point there was only about three inches clearance on each side, but Alejandro is a champ and guided me through: not sure if he feared more for his life or the health of the truck, but a couple of close calls later we made it without having gotten sued nor fined. #EverydayMiracles
(This was after we almost got stuck)
Six hours later he had successfully moved into his new place. I, on the other hand, found myself in the situation of not knowing if I’d even find a new place to stay … again. As a foreigner in a city where you need a US guarantor to get approved for almost any apartment on Manhattan, I once again had to lift my eyes to God in faith (and desperation) for a solution.
To be continued.
In my next post I’ll tell you all about my new film, the premiere, my thoughts about having completed my first year as a grad film student at NYU Tisch. I may even share the experience that took me a giant step closer to being a real New Yorker — a story you don’t want to miss. Stay tuned!
I’m on my way to school (on a Saturday, yes) to edit my film, but I wanted to share some exciting news first.
I’ve known about this for several months already, but I just realized it’s coming up so soon I better let you know — I’ve been invited to guest speak at Augustana University in South Dakota!
If you’ve followed the blog from the beginning you already know that Augustana has a very special place in my heart, and that I graduated as a proud Augie Viking after precisely 1000 days on the prairie.
Photo: Jessica Ruf.
When I, as a teary-eyed graduate, packed my suitcases and headed for the airport last May, I thought I had said goodbye to the magical place of Sioux Falls for good … or at least for several years. The geographical position of South Dakota just doesn’t allow for random visits and accidental layovers, so I didn’t know I would have the money nor opportunity to go back next time.
Parts of “The Fam” posing in front of the Sioux Falls. Yup, this is where the city got its name from, haha.
When I earlier this year received the invitation from Professor Mike Nitz, I was — naturally — beyond thrilled. The fact that my schedule later filled up with an additional five guest-speaking requests and tons of catch-up coffees, dinners, breakfasts and hangouts just makes me more excited about the trip.
I’ll be there from April 26-29th, and I’ve already told you I have to move out of my current apartment on May 1st, and that my film has to be done by May 11th, and that I’ll fly to Norway a couple days later, and that I also have 25 hours of classes to attend every week and a load of grants I have to apply for. So quite frankly, I have to wrap up this post and get to work.
But since we’re talking about Augustana: my Facebook just reminded me this happened on this day last year. I can’t believe how time flies!
Talk to you soon!